What's going on with me?

Hi All

I thought I would give y'all an update on what's happening with me and my life. So, here we go in my favorite style... Bullet Point.

• I'm helping out with Bent-Con, a LGBT Comic-Con in Los Angeles. Lead by the incredible Sean Z, we are in the beginning stages of what will be the biggest LGBT geek event of the year.
• I'm completing my fourth year at USC as an Assistant Director of Res Life. The students, the trips and the glory has been crazy, but now the chill time begins.
• Well, I take that back. I decided to take 2 classes this summer. One is about creating a TV pilot and the other class is about making my full feature script worthy to be picked up. Hopefully, I can take 'Shadow Boy' to the next level.
• I'm trying to make it to New York City this summer; but with work, classes and Comic-Con, it's going to be tough.
• My best friend, Tavares may be moving to L.A. He will stay with us for a bit and then he will take over the town. I'm hoping my other friends follow suit.
• I've been doing the Insanity workout for 4 weeks now, and I have to say it is a miracle worker. It kicks my ass, but my body is taking shape.
• I'm realizing that L.A. could be home for me and Jamie. 
• My mom just found out that she have a huge plot of land in her name down in Tennessee. She's working with the lawyer to see what to actually do with it.
• I got some new readers.

Well that's if for me. What about y'all?

Certain Songs + Certain Moments = Great Memories

There are songs that brings back some good memories and good times. When I hear certain songs, I'm thrown back into some interesting moments in my life.

For example:

'With or Without You' -U2 (middle school years)
At a sleepover with a few classmates, one of my friends would sleep with the radio on. The guy that slept next to me starting moving closer when that song started. He was lightly kissing my neck and held my hand. I was in Heaven and that song just made everything like a dream...We never spoke about it afterward, but a few years ago, he sent a facebook message to let me know that he remembered.

'Do Me, Baby' -Prince (beginning of my high school years)
I was 14, he was 18. He was a family friend that was staying with us. His girlfriend wouldn't give him a BJ and he was pissed off about it. I was in lust with him so bad that it was in neon colors on my forehead. Anywho, as we were talking about nothing, he asked me if I would "help him out". At that moment, Prince's song came on. And well... let's say that I learned how to swallow that night.

'Right Here, Right Now' -Jesus Jones (high school)
My good friend and I bonded by riding around town all night. We talked about everything we could think of and nothing was off limits. It was that moment we became great friends for life.

'Everybody, Everybody' - Blackbox (high school)
I played this song in the lunch line with portable tape player. It was the first time I 'queened out' in public... But I didn't realize I was doing that.

'1979' - Smashing Pumpkins (college)
This song kind of defined one of my best years in college. 1996 was a great year academically, personally and paraprofessional (as a RA)

'Perfect' - Smashing Pumpkins
It was my first time on my own, living in Stateboro, GA. as a hall director. I didn't have cable yet, so I only had a few channels. Then on Friday Night Videos, 'Perfect' came on. I can't really explain it, but that song just hit me in a way that defined my new sense of independence.

I can go on and on about this topic. So many songs and so many memories. If you have any song moments, please share.

My Hawaii Vacation Breakdown

Hi All,

I'm back from Hawaii (Oahu) after spending 5 great days on the island. I have some pics to share with y'all, as well as, some things I learned about the people and the places. 

So, here is my rundown on the vacation.

• I was taught that Spam was for the less fortunate, however it is the food of the Gods in Hawaii.
• Waikiki is the new Las Vegas. But, it's a prettier tourist trap.
• If you go, don't eat on the strip, actually eat behind the main strip or in town.
• There version of pulled pork ain't the version of pulled pork I'm used to.
• The ABC Stores run that island.
• The Polynesian men are hot! For real!
• It's very carefree and laid-back in Hawaii. Everyone wore board shorts, tank tops and flip-flops. Fashion was not the deal.
• Cut off jeans are making a comeback.
• The ocean is so clear, y'all I tell you how beautiful it is.
• If you go to the island, try to stay next to the sea. You will love it.
• The seafood is really, really good.
• A lot of fanny packs come to Hawaii and LIVE FOREVER
• Hawaii is clearly an Obama state. You can get Obama dildos on any corner.
• Diversity is really alive in Hawaii. So many beautiful people and cultures coming together very well on the island.

Here are some random pics from the trip.

I'm getting my 'Insanity' on

 Okay y'all, I need to be real. I'm not in the best shape. I keep saying I'm going to get right and then I don't follow through.

Honey, it's hard to stay on track; well for me anyways. But no more excuses, I'm going to get serious about my health.

So, I ordered Insanity, the new workout with sexy ass Shaun T. I told myself that I'm going to do this and stay on it.

Feel free to ask me if I'm on it. I should be since it cost $130 something dollars.

I'm Heading to Hawaii

Hey All

We are on our way to Hawaii for a lazy vacation. I've never been there, so I'm excited to see what the hype is all about.

Of course I'll keep posting, probably complaining about Wonder Woman and posting pics.

Summing up My Philly Trip

Well I'm leaving Philly today. This interesting city was fun; I got to see old friends, met new ones, learn about about assessment and tried my first Philly Cheesesteak. But to sum it up best, I'll give y'all the lowdown in my famous bullet point form

• Downtown needs a makeover. There were a lot of abandon buildings, potholes and bad Fried Chicken restaurants.

• The men look like real men here. Sorry L.A., but these guys are holding it down "real life" style
• It is easy to find everything around here, I didn't get lost once.
• A transgendered woman was serving the sidewalk in her sharp high heeled boots the other night. I had a little bit to drink, so when I saw her, I was feeling her vibe. As she walk close to us, I start singing "Walk in them boots! Walk, walk in them boots" she smiled and turned up the runway prance. Loved it.
• I hung out with my former boss/good friend at this conference. We haven't seen each other in 10 years. He still looks good and still has his cocky side. I always felt that it made him really cute.
• I met a couple of my readers at a bar and we had a good time talking about politics, men and well... Men.
• Do NOT drink 2 Long Beach Iced Tea in a row. I repeat do NOT drink 2 Long Beach Iced Tea in a row.

• If you visit Philly and you want a Cheesesteak, go to Jim's Cheesesteak.
• Philly does NOT have a Jamba Juice. I almost died.
• The Macy's downtown had amazing deals, I guess no one shops there.
• My hotel gym was busted, so I just jumped on the bed for 30 minutes. I lost 2 pounds a day (jk)
• My coat is out season.
• I had to explain to some folks that I have locs, not braids. And clarify that my hair was all real. 
• There are more dive bars than good ones.
• Philly has the roughest toliet paper on earth!

And speaking of Kisses...

Do you remember the first guy you really wanted to kiss and you got to kiss him? See, while many folks focus on the first kiss, I want to talk about kissing the one guy you always wanted to kiss.

That kiss is magical, because it's happening with someone that you really, really want.

Let me tell you my tale. In 2001, a week before I got my Master's degree, I was hanging out with my crush/good friend Tim.

We had a history of possibly being more than friends, but we never took that leap. However, one night (on a full moon) we were in his room just chilin' and talking about nothing really. Tim asked me, "Was there anything I wanted to do in Murray that I never got the chance to do?" I thought about it and just like that, this flew out of my mouth: "I never got to kiss you."

Tim paused for a second, got up from his seat, took my hand and pulled me up to him. Then, he guided my face to his and we kissed.

That kiss... Till this day, I think I left reality for 45 seconds (yes, I counted). It was a kiss I always, always wanted. I mean I kissed several guys, but this kiss actually made me weak at the knees.

When we broke apart, I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to look at him and watch his face vanish as I woke up from sleeping. But it was no dream, it was real... He was real. We stared at each other, awkwardly laughed and then we kissed again. In fact, we made out something fierce. I had wanted him for so long... 4 LONG years. Our kiss unleashed everything I wanted say and everything I always felt. Tim and I made out for over an hour. At that point, I was ready to lose my virginity (gay sex style), but he thought we should stop. He said it was a lot going on and didn't want to jump too fast.

But our moment was enough. It was enough to satisfy me for years. I realized what true feeling and true love was all about. His kiss was revolutionary to my world and I will be forever grateful.

My Top 5 80s Teen Movies that Made Me Gay

I know they didn't make me gay, but these flick started the spark that ignited the Phoenix flames of Gaiety up in me... Okay, I know that was too much, but I'm crazy like that.

So check out the films that awaken the fierceness in me.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - This was a fun film and lead guy was the star of a couple of special dreams


Youngblood - One of Rob Lowe's finest


Stand By Me - It had River and Kiefer in it


Pretty in Pink - I wanted to be a designer because of this movie


Young Guns - A lot of hotness in one movie that wasn't a porno

I got Hit... Again

I got rammed from the back at a Stop sign (again) and the son of bitch drove off. I'm okay, just pissed off and hella angry.

In fact, I actually chased the truck that hit me, but they got away. I really wanted to get them, but I think it was best that I stopped myself. I didn't realized how much vengeance I really had in me. 

Anywho, we are going the motions of insurance, rental cars and repairs... I wish I could find the bastards.

Madonna SEX book Memories

Do y'all remember Madonna's SEX book? I was just thinking about this the other day and how it was such a big deal.

Picture it... 1992. It was my first semester in college. My new geeky, gay friend Kelly just cashed his (late) student loan check at the bank. While we were walking around campus, he turned to me and said, "Before I buy ANYTHING for class or pay a bill, I have to get Madonna's book, TODAY!"

Kelly had tried to get the book in town, but because it was Murray, KY, it would be a miracle if he could get it within 6 months. So, Kelly called around Paducah, KY to see where he could find it. Within 2 hours, he learned that the book was at an adult bookstore called Tammy's.

So we jumped in his car and headed down to Paducah to the porn store. Now, this was our first time at the porn store, so we had no idea what to expect. As we entered the shop, we noticed the weird burnt plastic smell and the creepy guys looking at us. We were a little scared, but walked to the counter and asked for the book. I also bought one because I thought we were buying a piece of history (silly teens).

The next day we had a SEX book party. Our friends came over to Kelly's room and we watched 'Truth or Dare' and gawked over the pages of the book. I was all into Vanilla Ice (don't judge) and this page.

Over the years the book fell apart and I through it out before I graduated. But I have been thinking about finding it on eBay and adding it to my coffee book collection. I guess, it was a piece of history to me.

Rambling Post: Big Changes brings Big Doubts

WARNING- This is a rambling post!

Some of my friends are making some big changes in their lives. My oldest friend, Derrick, may be leaving his safe haven in Murray, KY. He's been there most of his adult life. My other best friend, Tavares, may be leaving NYC to live here in Los Angeles.

With them making such bold steps, I got to thinking about my life and my career. I'm in a very good place in my current career: I get to travel, I make real good money and the benefits are on point... But, I want to try something new. Most of you know I'm looking at screenwriting as another career move. I've been taking some classes and entering a few screenwriting contests, you know, trying to get my feet wet in the biz.

However, my doubts are jabbing me in gut. There are days when I think, "Am I too old?" or "Is it too late to do this?" I know I'm silly for thinking these thoughts, but it happens. Every time I think about classes or the next script, these thoughts just shake me up.

Still, I have to take this chance. I have to see what's really out there. I'm in the right place and hopefully this is the right time. I just have to get over my doubts. It's hard, but I have to work through this. Sorry for this rambling post, but it's been on my mind for awhile now; especially since I've turned 37.

But I have to see this through, I just have to.

Flashback 1997 - Going out to the Gay Bar

Back in my college years, we used to go out to Paducah, KY or Nashville to party. We also used to dress as a clique.

Here are my closest friends, Tavares and Todd (and me of course) getting ready to party in Paducah. This was our ghetto preppy attire, white T-Shirts and cut off Khakis.

I know, I know... What were we thinking?

Taking Risks in 2011: I'm entering my Script in Outfest

Okay, I'm taking a risk and I'm entering my 'Shadow Boy' script in Outfest. I'm scared and excited, but I know I have to try.

So, I'm working the script and preparing everything for the application process. Right now, I'm stressing out over the synopsis. Take a look...

A family crisis forces 19 year-old Brandon Hanks to leave Chicago and move in with his grandmother in the sleepy town of Marion, South Carolina. As he settles into his new home, Brandon meets the cavalier and really cute, Jackson Garrett. Within a few weeks, the two boys hit it off really well. Their attraction for each other grows immensely. But their newfound romance takes dangerous turn when Jackson’s old enemy, Patrick, arrives in Marion.

Patrick is hell-bent on revenge, and vows to do horrific things if Jackson doesn’t abide by his wishes. Caught in a terrible predicament, Jackson knows his past could put anyone close to him in great jeopardy. So, he decides share his deepest secret to Brandon... He is a supernatural, gifted with extraordinary and terrifying powers.

Although he is completely shocked, Brandon decides to stay by Jackson’s side. His feelings for Jackson are far too deep to turn back now. But when Patrick’s bloody frenzy terrorizes the town, Brandon begins to understand how dark Jackson’s world can actually be. Now, Patrick is coming for Brandon. Jackson promises to protect Brandon at all cost, but it may not be enough. And he isn’t careful; Brandon could lose much more than his heart.

I like it, but I don't know... Does it make sense? Let me know what you think, if you like. But I'm trying to finish this by this week. Hopefully, I can get this in by the deadline.

Here's my "I think I'm too Old" Ramble

When my friends visited over the holidays, I realized something... I'm old.

During the week and a half of their LA visit, we spent most of that out in WeHo (West Hollywood).
FYI, I hate WeHo, but for my friends, I just grinned and deal with it. Anywho, we spent several nights at the clubs and those hours felt like daaaaaaays. It was crowded, fake, loud and crazy. Plus, listening to Katy Perry, Ke$ha and broke ass Britney Spears is not what I call a good time.

But 13 years ago, it was.

In college (undergrad & grad), I went out every weekend in Paducah or Nashville. We danced for many, many hours, coming home sweaty and tired. Ever since I was 17, I've been up in the clubs. But at 36, I'm not the Dance Hall Ho I used to be.

Now, I'm the 2 Drink Minimum Ho. I like going out to a nice bar for happy hour or a lounge. If I dance, it's to the oldies or R&B. Also, I don't need to go out that much anymore. I have fun chillin' at home or at someone's house. I don't need to be seen, well, I like to be seen, but not too often.

I don't know when I changed, but this holiday it was clear... I'm no longer 23 years old. I felt bad for my friends, because they was lovin' the dancefloor, but I was secretly annoyed. The WeHo gay scene is tired and overdone.  Just give me some buffalo wings, good convo and great drinks and that's a night out for me.

What Role do you play in your group of Friends?

I think in any friendship circle, someone has a role. The hand holder, the straddler, the non-judgmental friend, the over-supporter and 'best friend to the end' friend.

Me, I'm the realist friend. Meaning, if we been friends for 5 or more years, I don't hold back. I will give you support, but I will be totally, completely honest with you at all times. I have no problems calling my out my friends and I expect them to do the same to me.

If you are screwing up your life, I'll tell you that without a problem. I believe at that point in our friendship, we should be each other mirrors. If I can't keep it real with my friends, then how can we keep the relationship going?

Although I'm the realist friend, I can be considered harsh at times. I don't sugarcoat too much, I'll tell it like it is. Sometimes my friends hate me for it, but later they get it. They know that I love them and only want the best for them. In fact, I'm known as Mama Kerney.

So, I like to know what role do you play in group of friends?

My 'Life' Review of 2010

This year has been interesting in so many ways. It was a good year, but it also was an eye opening time as well.

So here is a review of my life in 2010.

I traveled a lot this year for both work and fun. While I enjoyed myself, I was a bit tired of traveling. Not trying to sound spoiled, but flying out 7 times this year was enough.

I lost 2 good friends this year. One was like a little brother to me and the other held a deep part of my heart. It was really tough to lose my friends, I felt guilty that I didn't talk with them enough. But I hope they are in a better place.

My partner became Musical Director at his job, which was a pretty big deal.

We also met his family in the rural parts of PA. That was real special, real special.

I decided to get back into fashion. I was just wearing business clothes at work and slum clothes at home. So I took some money and increased my wardrobe. We won't talk about the number of jeans I have or the brand names of those jeans.

Continuing the shallowness, my obsession with Louis Vuitton took a huge turn. I gained 2 more editions to my LV collection.

My job gave me a bit of challenge (in a good way). I took on additional roles, which was rewarding and crazy at the same time.

I took another screenwriting class! I completed a feature film script that landed me another A and more confidence in my work.

LGBT politics start to bother me. It was hard staying positive, especially when most folks were becoming doubtful. But I had to stand my ground and keep hope alive. I had to remember that this is a long battle, so I had to keep my head on straight.

I returned to Kentucky for my college Homecoming. It was a blast! I haven't seen many of my classmates for years. Plus, I got see my old crew, the FAM. It was a great reminder of where I came from.

The blog gained many new readers. I'm always floored that y'all keep coming back for more. I will try to keep it real in 2011.

I had my wisdom teeth taken out and it was NOT fun. In 2011, BRACES!

I am now (this just happened recently) the VP of the Jordan Rustin Coalition.

I'm also amazed and thrilled to read many of your posts and stories. Although I have little to say, I greatly enjoy your blogs.

So that's it for me. I'm looking forward for 2011.

Flasback 2001 - Summer in NYC

This is a pic of my friends looking for jobs in Easy Everything, it was a big internet cafe in Times Square in NYC. It's gone now, I think the McDonalds took its place.

This pic sums up that summer in 2001, when we moved to NYC straight out of college. We were so naive, so doe-eyed and fresh from Kentucky/Tennessee. I think I was at my interview with Cornell at the time this picture was taken.

But gosh, this brings back memories, y'all. We would hang out at EE, searching through Monster.com and all other job sites for some type of employment. Seems like a lifetime ago. Everything's so different now. We all got great jobs now... Okay, I'm rambling, but it's interesting to see this pic and to see where we came from.

Just interesting.

Award Night

Last night, my group, The Jordan Rustin Coalition received a Medal of Honor for our work in the LGBT community.

I was very proud, being a newly minted board member, to not only get this award, but to see the history of LGBT of color in the room. I was very honored.

Also I got to talk politics with another Award winner, Karen Ocamb. She is the news editor of Frontiers magazine, one the largest LGBT publication in Cali-Cal. She's very intelligent and aware what's really going on, so I was very happy to talk about the dilly.

Here's a pic of some of us.

Please don't mind me, half my face is swollen from my wisdom teeth removal. So, yes you are looking at the Elephant man until I heal up.

My Wisdom Teeth are Out

Well it's done. They put me asleep, dug in my mouth and now all 3 wisdom teeth are gone.

I have to say I was excited to get put to sleep, I don't know why, I just think it's neat. Now the healing begins.

I have to eat soft food, rest, take drugs. There's some pain, but I'll manage. But on a side note, my lips feel HUGE. I feel like I could blow the entire football team with these lips. I hope the swelling goes down soon.

I Met the Master of Movie Serial Killers... Kane Hodder

I was very lucky the other night. Not only did I got to see Hatchet 2 (this was pulled out of the theaters because it had no rating), but I got to meet Kane Hodder!!

Now to those who don't know him, let me introduce Kane. He has played the major movie killers!
Jason, Michael Myers, Leatherface, Victor Crowley and the B.T.K. killer. He has also acted in many movies over the years.

Here's a sample (NSFW)


And he was such a nice guy too. It was such a great moment.